- Practise Self-Pity
Probably the most effective method to stay miserable all your life! Meditate on the thoughts that you are always worse-off compared to all those around you and that depressing things are always happening to you alone. Think lowly of yourself and believe that you will never be able to make it in life.
Recommendation:
Engage in at least 3 sessions of self-pity daily, each not less than 30 minutes. For best results, practice along side with other master self-pitiers.
2. Blame others for everything
One of the best self-defense mechanisms. Avoid taking responsibility for any errors or mistakes made by you. Always look for a scapegoat to bear your blame. Find fault with everyone else except yourself. Actively protect yourself by shifting negative focus on some else. Most importantly, erase the phrase "I'm sorry" from your vocabulary.
Recommendation:
Best people to shift blame on are your parents, family, friends, school, teachers, Church, God and everyone else besides yourself. Practise blame shifting at least twice a day in front of a mirror. Recommended reading material:
"How to make others look really bad without people knowing you are actually shifting blame."
3. Remember every wrong done against you and get bitter
Keep a list of people's names in the past and present who have offended you in any way. If possible, afix their photographs beside their names and clearly describe how they had transgressed against you. Whenever situation permits, review the list and recall the injustice they put you through. In your mind, give them a taste of their own medicine by punishing them with retaliation.
Recommendation:
Conduct this exercise as often as you possibly can. To attain highest level of misery, meditate on these thoughts once in the morning, once during lunch time, once during bed time and any other times in between.
WARNING:
To live a truly liberated and satisfying life, do directly the opposite of the above. Be warned that to perform the opposite of all recommendations above will result in good health, good relationship with others, and a peace of mind.
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