changed it again

i'm bored
i changed my blog skin
AGAIN
sch starts next week
mixed feelings

i decided not
to be weak
let ppl push me over
copy my stuff
boss me around

also most imptly

y must i sound so despo all the time
just 1 qn
just wanna meet up
just wanna ask for help
must ask forever
must go to the extend that i almost begging

why!!!
i'm sick of myself

not gonna do it anymore

not gonna be the one

yuk

"Helena"

Long ago
Just like the hearse you die to get in again
We are so far from you

Burning on just like a match you strike to incinerate
The lives of everyone you know
And what's the worst you take (worst you take)
from every heart you break (heart you break)
And like the blade you stain (blade you stain)
Well I've been holding on tonight

[Chorus]
What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

Came a time
When every star fall brought you to tears again
We are the very hurt you sold
And what's the worst you take (worst you take)
from every heart you break (heart you break)
And like the blade you stain (blade you stain)
Well I've been holding on tonight

[Chorus]
What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight
And if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

Can you hear me?
Are you near me?
Can we pretend to leave and then
We'll meet again
When both our cars collide?

[Chorus]
What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight
And if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

what i do when i'm bored

i bored
so i translated 2 songs
both from FIR
1st song is also the 1st part from the 1st album
the 2nd on is the 2nd part of the story
from their latest album

我們的愛
詞:F.I.R、謝宥慧　曲:F.I.R.

回憶裡想起模糊的小時候
雲朵漂浮在藍藍的天空　
那時的你說　要和我手牽手　
一起走到時間的盡頭

從此以後我都不敢抬頭看
彷彿我的天空失去了顏色
從那一天起　我忘記了呼吸　
眼淚啊永遠不再　不再哭泣

我們的愛　
過了就不再回來　
直到現在　我還默默的等待　
我們的愛　
我明白　已變成你的負擔
只是永遠　我都放不開　
最後的溫暖　
你給的溫暖　
不要再問你是否愛我　
現在我想要自由的天空　
遠離開這被綑綁的世界　
不再寂寞
喔

hui yi li xiang qi mou hu de xiao shi hou
yun duo piao fu zai lan lan de tian kong
na shi de ni shuo yao he wo shou qian shou
yi qi zhou dao shi jian de jing tou

chong zhi yi hou wo dou bu gan tai tou kan
fan fu wo de tian kong shi qu le yan se
chong na yi tian qi wo wang ji le hu xi
yan lei a yong yuan bu zai bu zai ku qi

wo men de ai
guo le jiu bu zai hui lai
zi dao xian zai wo hai mo mo de deng dai
wo men de ai
wo ming bai yi bian cheng ni de fu dan
zhi shi yong yuan wo dou fang bu kai
zui hou de wen luan ni gei de wen luan

bu yao zai wen ni shi fou ai wo
xian zai wo xiang yao zi you de tian kong
yuan li kai zhe bei kun bang de shi jie
bu zai ji mo
ah


I could only remember my childhood vaguely
Clouds floating on the blue sky
Back then you told me
You wanna hold my hand
And walk with me till the end of time

Even since then I'm afraid to look up
Afraid that my sky will lose it's color
From that day on I forgot how to breathe
And I will never ever cry again

Our love
It's gone and will never return
But I'm still waiting
Our love
I understand has become a burden for you
But I cant let go
The warm
Of your touch

Am not gonna ask you whether you still love me
Now I just wanna be free
Leave this world that binds me
No more loneliness

把愛放開
詞:F.I.R./謝宥慧　曲:F.I.R.

當你開始追尋你要的自由
放開我們緊握的手　帶走我的愛和天空
我不知所措　我以為我會懂
我們的愛~我們的愛~

當我獨自走到時間的盡頭
回憶和我擦身而過　帶走你的愛和笑容
我無力承受　最後的一點心痛
我們的愛~我們的愛~

把愛放開　把手放開　如果你的心已不在
把愛放開　不再等待　你的溫柔是一片空白
把愛放開　把心打開
這次我決定走出回憶重來
就讓我徹底地傷　再徹底地醒過來

終於明白愛已不再
從今以後再也沒有什麼能去依賴
我還有什麼期待

把愛放開　把手放開　如果你的心已不在
把愛放開　不再等待　你的溫柔是一片空白
把愛放開　把心打開
這次我決定走出所有回憶重來
就讓我徹底地傷　再徹底地醒過來

dang ni kai shi zhui xun ni yao de zi you
fang kai wo men jin wo de shou dai zou wo de ai he tian kong
wo bu zhi suo cuo wo yi wei wo hui dong
wo men de ai wo men de ai

dang wo du zi zou dao shi jian de jin tou
hui yi he wo ca shen er guo dai zou ni de ai he xiao rong
wo wu li cheng shou zui hou de yi dian xin tong
wo men de ai wo men de ai

ba ai fang kai ba shou fang kai ru guo ni de xin yi bu zai
ba ai fang kai bu zai deng dai ni de wen rou shi yi pian kong bai
ba ai fang kai ba xin da kai
zhe ci wo jue ding zou chu hui yi zhong lai
jiu rang wo che di di shang zai che di di xing guo lai

zhong yu ming bai ai yi bu zai
cong jin yi hou zai ye mei you shi yao neng qu yi lai
wo huan you shi yao qi dai

ba ai fang kai ba shou fang kai ru guo ni de xin yi bu zai
ba ai fang kai bu zai deng dai ni de wen rou shi yi pian kong bai
ba ai fang kai ba xin da kai
zhe ci wo jue ding zou chu hui yi zhong lai
jiu rang wo che di di shang zai che di di xing guo lai


When u begin the seach for your freedom
You let go of my hand taking with you my love and sky
I was at loss I thought I understood
Our love

I walk to the end of time alone
Memories past me back taking away your love and laughter
I could no longer stand even the last bit of pain
Our love

Let go this love let go your hand if you no longer love me
Let go this love no longer waiting your love is empty
Let go this love unlock my heart
This time I'm leaving our memories and starting over
Let my deepest wounds heal

Finally understand our love is no longer there
For now on there's nothing to rely on anymore
What is there to look forward to

Let go this love let go your hand if you no longer love me
Let go this love no longer waiting your love is empty
Let go this love unlock my heart
This time I'm leaving our memories and starting over
Let my deepest wounds heal

bored

is the holidays!!!!
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeah rite

BORED
nothing to do but slack at home
looking for a job
wanted to work in a cinema
so went to fill in th eforms of all the cinemas online

hahahahha
but then i found out
GV only pays u 3.60 per hour
WAT!!!!!
oh man!!!
donno how much cathay pay
waiting for their reply
lido
haiz
they don want students
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

was watching starrunner yest
wheee
vanness
HOT
still remember how i felt when i was at the prem
hahahahha
gosh
he's cuter in person
LOLX

watching it with me sis
and jumping on the couch and throwing pillows
everyime vanness get beaten
( is a boxing show )
so the end of the show the living roon looked like a war just happen
hahahahahhahahahahahha
and whining hahahahhahaha
poor vannnnnnnn
hahahahahha
then she started to ask me y andy on won best new comer instead of my hubby
thats something I STILL DON GET
not that andy on is bad
he's petty good in new police story and all
BUT
come on
in starrunner
vanness have more lines and most of the time the cam is on VANNESS
but then andy on won
WEIRD

me waiting for vanness new movie
hehe
with andy on AGAIN
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
and maggie Q
ekkkkk
she's pretty
but i really don think she can act
modelling is still better for ya

the song that made me cry

me sis got the new FIR cd
me like it ALOT
really nice
but 1 song made me cry
maybe becasue i felt wat she sang
i can understand the feeling
of how a person hurt u so much u wanna run away
but somehow u cant because of tons of reasons
he say he'll change
his eyes
his voice
finally u found the courage to
and that was wat i did
so when i heard this song
i just cried

haha
and now for the lyrics of this not sad
but a song of courage i guess
(translation below)

死心的理由
詞:謝宥慧 曲:F.I.R

離開我
再也沒有決裂的時候
就讓靈魂徹底的墜落
喔~喔~
放逐過
還逃不出你的左右
怪只怪我把愛當寄託
一時迷惑 一路犯錯
給我死心的理由
誓言融雪時別沉默
我的美麗只剩哀愁
怕看見溫柔眼眸
怕斷了唯一的出口
就無處可躲你時而熱情時而冷漠的雙手
多叫人心痛 l

leave me alone
before the cracks starts to show
let my soul finally rest
I've tried before
but I can't seem to run away from you
I only have myself to blame to entrust my love to you
that minute of confusion all these mistakes
giving me the reason to truly give up
when your promises melts like snow
my beauty fades away leaving only sadness
afraid to look into your gentle eyes
afraid that will ruin my only chance to leave
then I'll have no where to hide
your indecisiveness
Hurts me so

Cathy's fashion NO-NOS 101 (wat to wear and wat to burn)

was waiting for SOME PEOPLE yest at orchard mrt station
hahahaha
and I notice this really disturbing thing abt sporeans
(and some non sporeans but mostly local)

the clothes they wear
they're similar
a gio plain top with jeans or mini shirt
or a topshop plain tanktop with jeans or mini
with flip flops
(not slippers beachwear flip flops)
and a plain like hell bag
no accessories
no belts
no nutsso

LETS WELCOME THE NEW UNIFORM OF SPOREANS
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

every gal's wish will be to look her best
how r u gonna do that when half the ppl walking around u r wearing the same thing
a plain top/tube with jeans or mini
so I felt*ahhem*
it is my duty
to stop this
hahahahahaha

so let me begin with cathy's fashion no-nos 101
(wat to wear and wat to burn)

1. always accessorize
that's wat plain tops r for
let me get this straight 1st
I have plain tops
I love plain tops
BECAUSE they r easy to accessorize with
I'm not against them
the plain top and jeans / mini thing
do something to make that top or outfit interesting
a pin brooch they're making a comeback AGAIN
or a attention catching necklace OR ear rings
(nvr have big earrings AND necklace they crash BIG TIME and will look weird)
or a nice belt
ANY BELT
as long as u can carry off the look
bags are accessories too
a interesting bag can make u look better
100%
haha
hair accessories
used to wear them
when I first cut me hair short
very impt NONO
never wear clips meant for kids!!!!
u're a teen
NOT A KID
no furry balls
no plastic I DON KNOW WAT
gosh
caps trucker caps
love them
but makes me wonder at times
when aren't ppl in spore wearing hats
u know summer hats
spore is WARM SUNNY
PERFECT climate to wear them
if I have 1 I'll do it
but nope
cant find the perfect 1
maybe thats the problem
no perfect ones
no1 is selling it
oh yeah
me LOVE bracelets
they r really understated
they can be a great help to make ur top/jeans or mini combi better too
(ps the belt really helps REALLY)
I saw a gal wearing gio top with jeans
BUT
wat was different
is that she was wearing a wood material necklace
and a cloth belt (see!!! BELT)
carrying a clutch bag
(finally some1 with a great fashion nose clutch bags r sooooo SATC)
the colour combination was great
when I mean colour combination I don mean ALL the same colour
NEVER have more than 2 accessory of the same colour on u
that will be too much
speaking of colour me next point

2. never EVER wear the same colour from head to toe
and I really mean HEAD TO TOE
seen it b4
was laughing like mad
(ok I admit I made it b4 too but now I'm enlighten and will NOT do it again)
pls DO NOT no matter how much u LOVE that colour do that
let me describe wat I saw
and u guys have a laugh k
green spaghetti top
green long gypsy shirt
green PLASTIC bangle
green hoops earrings (jade)
green cloth sling bag
green cloth beaded slippers
I thot a forest was walking towards me
imagine that
will u die laughing on the spot
I nearly did
nvr do that
if colour is something u wanna match with
impt rule
on u (including accessory)
nvr have more than 3 items of the same colour
even if the tone is different
IS STILL THE SAME
baby pink or dark pink IS STILL PINK
the top and bottom cannot be the same colour
unless u r VERY confident u can pull it off
and ppl wont start dropping dead next to u
with a weird smile on their face
heard there was someone in my cls who did that
hahaha
too bad I wasn't there to see it
bea cow
haha
all pink
hehe
with a pink FLOWER on her hair
miss Hawaii
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

3. I AM NOT AGAINST JAPSTERS
but
if u wanna act sorry DRESS like a jap
then do it the rite way
don dress like u're gonna join the circus or something
I think u all know wat I mean so I don have to go on

4. notice why at accessories I didn't put down shoes
cause I have A LOT to write abt it
please please please for the 101 time
FLIP FLOPS DO NOT GO WITH EVERYTHING
I don care if they r havanes or quicksilver
to me they ARE FLIP FLOPS
I get how ppl like with wear flip flops with bermudas
I'm cool with that
wat I'm not so cool with
is mini shirts and jeans and long pants
imagine u look perfect
great hair
great accessories
nice expensive top
stunning mini skirt
THEN
u KILLED it
with flip flops
I'm screaming murder!!!
I was reading this mag the other day
and I saw the ppl they pull over to ask abt their clothes
wat they r wearing
almost all of them r wearing flip flops
nooooooooooooooooooooooooo
I know guys wear them with anything
I don care
why must u be like them
u're a gal
BURN those flip flops
(unless is beach wear)
and wear slippers that really matches u

5. to the person who invented to transparent bra straps
I know u r very rich rite now with this little invention of urs
BUT
I HATE IT
I think is awful
and u're stupid
love cathy
the reason u're wearing a tube top
is to show off ur shoulders
wear a strapless bra
if u wanna wear a bra with straps
y wear the tube in the first place
ppl like me
don wanna see ur bra straps

6. the things I do not wanna see
haha
butt cracks!!!
they are NOT SEXY
ppl do not wanna see ur butt crack
unless u're so shameless and think they look nice and wanna show them off to the whole world
then better yet
DON WEAR PANTS
same goes for boobs
u wanna show them off with SUPER low tops
don wear it then
is better
bright undergarments under ur clothes
hahahahahahahaha
there is a thin line between sexy and trashy
pls don walk it
lets be safe for this one yeah

7. I love those baby doll dresses with jeans
BUT
a top a shirt with jeans
EKKKKKKK
a after knee length summer dress with 3 quats
MURDER
I rest my case

hmmm
that's all I can think of
for now
I don wanna write abt guys
cause they all dress the same
and look the same to me at the moment
once in a blue mood there's a good 1
but he's too old or too young or too out of my league
so for the next cathy's fashion NO-Nos 101
tune in next time
P.S can tell me wat u all don like also
haha
P.S.S this is for refence only NO OFFENSE

cathy out!

the nite walkers

alot of psychiatrist will agree with me that ppl who have diff sleeping at nite is the most stressed lot of us all
me too
i know
i cant slp at nite
and i wake up at 10 11 am
my mom had to drag me up
i like being alone
cause that is when i can control things
i can control wat i eat when i slp what i wanna do
i love being alone
but then i like being with my friends too
wat i hate is when i have no control over the problems having friends will led to
i use to endure
now i don
i tell them when i'm uphappy
but after that i'll be fine
u see all of us needs a channel
a process where we can channel all the nagatives into
i tell ppl how i feel
then i'm ok
i let them know i'm NOT angry at them any more
once after the "let my feelings off period"
i;m fine
and if they r unhappy too they can tell me
that is my channel
wat happen yesterday
for all i can tell the ppl involved was bad channeling

how is anyone gonna know how u feel if u don talk abt it
or ignore the ppl around u
NO u cant solve the problem by urself
being alone will NOT solve it
as much as i love to be alone
i know that
being by urself to think cant help the problem
u have to talk abt it
enduring wont help too
u have to tell ppl how u feel
like it or not

our feelings is like a snow ball
rolling down a hill of snow
it keeps getting bigger
and bigger
the only way to stop it is to let it out
they will not disappear after a while
as much as u want them to
THEY WILL NOT
the next time u're angry with that person again
her old problems u had with her
that u thot u forgive or forget
will surface once again
and will add up
they will get bigger and worse over time
so i urge u
all of u
if u have problems with each other

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
tell them
but let them know also
that once u let out all these feelings
emotions
u'll be ok
u're not angry anymore

i'm here speaking to u all
not scolding or pointing to ONE person
but to ALL of u
every single one of u
enduring will not solve the problem
being alone help
it clears ur mind
makes u think better
think better TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM
if u have wat i call "me time"
being alone
clearing ur head
and forgetting abt the problems
then theres no point
"me time" help u think how u can solve the problem
if ur conclusion during this period of time is nothing or no point solving
then this friendship is hopeless

that or ur "me time" is totally wasted
caused u ignore and hide from reality

abt me as in myself
i believe
if u're a nice person others will be nice to u
if u're an asshole others will be the same to u
i try to treat every single one of the ppl i know with respect
even if i dislike them
so i'll reviece the same
if they don treat me like the same i did
then they're assholes not me
i think this is really really impt because u cant aviod any one
esp ppl in ur group
u have to constantly deal with them
i take all these as a training
cause IN THE FUTURE
in a work place u cant just go off on ppl at random and expect them to be cool to u

wat i admire is honesty loyalty kindness generosity sensitivity and strength
i admire ppl who went throu hard times and came out more knowledgeable and a samrter person because of it

i learn all these frm ting ting
she is one who went throu all the hardships
all the shit
she came out smarter more kind stronger instead of being bitter and ask why ME
she learn frm all this
the old not so nice me piss her off alot
but she stood by me
for that i'm touched
and if i were to die tml
at least i know i have 1 true friend

she taught me to change
she taught me to go throu all this not bitter
but thankful for the training
will make me face my future life in this world stronger smarter

and i do feel that i need to tell the ppl around me rite now
we need to channel our feelings emotions
we need to speak up
emotions is like a snow ball that get bigger and bigger
handling emotions by urself is not a rite move
no one will know how u feel if u don tell them
enduring will make u hate that person more and more over time
u talk abt it
not rant
i admit i'm manic depressive
i cant control my emotions
i get angry very very easy
or i used to
but i control it now
is better to talk abt it

to the ppl around me now:
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT MUST READ

don endure
don ignore
don walk / run away
don pretend everything is a ok
don laugh abt it
don cut urself off with the rest
don disappear
don hide
don let ur feelings snow ball

talk about it
tell the person that she or he is the cause of how u feel now
that u're unhappy
is the only way to solve all this now
really ppl
THE ONLY WAY
TALK ABOUT IT

goofy goober's

*sings*
I'M A GOOFY GOOBER YEAH
U'RE A GOOFY GOOBER YEAH
WE'RE ALL GOOFY GOOBER YEAH
GOOFY GOOFY GOOBER GOOBER YEAH
( anyone who watched spongebob the movie knows wat i'm singing hahahahahahahahahahaha)

am bored
so bored
wanted to go library but is raining
don wanna go out
came on line
no one on line to chat to
want to change blog skin
the webbie under men
haiz
waiting for my CSI to finish loading so i can watch
pretty much spend this 2 days at home

was reading the whole day yest
memoirs of a geisha
is a great book
gonna be made into a movie
but Zhang Ziyi is chinese
playing a jap geisha
abit weird

went to bed early cause of MSN pro
couldnt log on
woke up to a wonderful morning
or should i say noon
was raining
and the weather so
ohhhh so great!!!
to just be in bed
hehe

wooooooo
brendan lim won cleo most eligible bachelor
i got the mag because of him
he was on the cover
but then i voted for
NO4 Tseng Wun Hsiung
HE'S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE
seen both in person b4
me like Wun better
tall great bod great voice
woo hoo
but he was 20 votes behind brendan
SAD
he's second
brendan lim is not very tall
other than that he's veryvery dreamy
very prince like
just the height
is a bit of a problem
haha

was very affected by Terri Schiavo's death
do feel that the American Govt has failed her and her family
yeah she was declared to be in a vegetative state
BUT
she can breathe on her own sallow her own saliva and can respond to simpe touches
COME ON
if she's in a coma
on life support
it will be fair to mercy kill her
BUT
she's not!!!
and over the recent year there wasnt any test at all to determine if she was capable of conscious responses
a murderer on death roll die faster and in less pain than her
denied food and water for 13 days!!!!
and they call America a free country
they murdered her
someone who is NOT ON DEATH ROLL
over the peroid of 13 days
watched her organs slowly fail
is sad
to see this place slowly lose it's sense of humanity
sad
some might call it reality
but is not!!!
we could change all this
lies cheats murders rapes
this is NOT reality