just found a blog post by one of my former teachers...
his tribute to Mr Ho
it was so true
what what every single one of us missing Mr Ho right now wanna say...

"Mr Ho Chee Koon was one whom everyone affectionately knew as a “jolly good fella”. He never failed to stop whatever he was doing just to listen, offer his ever optimistic view of life and laughed with anybody who would drop by for a light-hearted conversation with him. Chee Koon was a friend to many, both to his colleagues and students. He would be missed not just as a friend and a regular morning breakfast partner at the school canteen but most importantly, an excellent teacher! This loss will be greatly felt by Beatty Secondary School, and most deeply by those who knew him in a personal way. May the memories of his hearty smiles, generosity and positive outlook of life continue to lift our spirits and encourage us to embrace life with faith and hope as he always did."

recieved a very sad news yesterday night
my physics teacher passed away on the 28...

when i heard the news my mind and heart just went blank
mr ho was someone who affected my secondary sch a lot
he was one of those lovely ppl i thank in my previous post
one of those who guide me throu my darkest years
he as always there for our cls
nvr giving up on even the worst of us
when the rest of the teachers couldnt be bothered
when the rest of them yell and scold
he nvr lost his temper
he was firm
but yet gentle in a lot of ways
he was upset when i flunked my science
he talked and tried to help me
he was the reason i even studied for my physics O's
i didnt want to let him down
he was the reason we got 3rd during our sec science fair
we were the only N/A cls in top 3
he united our cls
guide us throu the steps
we nvr felt sooo proud of our selves
the cls with the most bengs
got 3rd
our yearly party on teachers' day
he helped talk with the sch
out of my 5 years in sec sch
he taught 4 years
was our form teacher for 1
when we knew he got cancer
as he got thinner and weaker
we prayed harder
he fought for what? 6 years?
he tried and he fought for 6 yrs
with his student's support every step of the way

Mr Ho didnt lose to cancer
to me i think
he won...
it might be too young to die at 38
but he's got all of our prayers
our support
our love
our memories of him will nvr die
it will live long and strong

We miss you Mr Ho
and I thank you
for saving me from my own destruction
for guiding me
for teaching me lessons beyond the cls room
for brightening our cls and everywhere u went with that hearty laughter of yours
you didnt know how many hearts u've warm with it...

was gonna meet up with my dearies today
but ja had something on
was pretty pissed actually
due to alot of other reasons
we are turning into the ppl we hate the most
really
i'm sorry if i was harsh
but then thats the fact
i have to say it
its killing all of us
but as always
i cant stay mad with my libidos

wat i really wanna say is
move on my darlings
don be stuck there
life is not over and there's still a long way to go
wat don kill us makes us stronger

i for 1 know that i'm moving on
desperate
to move on
went to toa payoh yesterday
took 155
have sooo much memories
at least 5 years worth
but i didnt feel sad
maybe a lil
but the feeling were mostly happy
cause i knew
instead of thinking abt wat i cant and will nvr have again
i chose to think abt how lucky i am to have these memories
sure in these 8 years some events changed my life
for a period of time i was living in self loathing
but with the help of those lovely ppl
i became stronger
happier
i want that again
i want to be me again
so i chose not to be stuck
and this time
i wont take 2 step front 5 steps back...
i'm going forward all the way
and i'm bringing 8 years of happy memories with me...

speaking of happy...
mel and i went shopping yesterday
was pretty tiring
but we found wat we want
and i hugged mine home
smirking all the way frm ang mo kio to paya lebar...
let us welcome my new...







PINKIE!!!!!

had pretty good days
the past 2 days
maybe because its been shitty the past months
so this 2 days seem really reallly special
thursday
FINALLY I SAW PPL WALK INTO THE OFFICE OPP MY BUS STOP
for the past 20 yrs i've NVR seen anyone walked in before
sure the lights are always on
BUT there's no one
and u cant see anyone
thot it was huanted when i was young
SOOOO was kinda surprised and happy
when i saw a few ppl
the rest of the day was good too
we're painting the centre
so the parents were told not to bring their kids if they cant find other care
so on wed there were 12 kids
thurs there were 8 KIDS!!!!!
and they're the good ones
SUPER RELAX LA
there was alot of moving and stuff
it was dusty
BUT i don need to see my boss's face
cause she went to hide
MUAHAHHAHAHA
PLUS PLUS PLUS
VANNESS WAS ON KANGXI!!!!
1 whole hr of hotness!!!!
was on cloud 9...
so its alllll good...
today...
9 kids
not so bad
was packing all the library books
nearly DIED but still it was ok
like i said
no need to see boss face
PLUS PLUS
NOOO NEED TO SEE THE DEVIL'S FACE
the spawn of satan decided not to come the past 3 days
WHICH IS GREAT NEWS FOR ME
bad new for bossy cause her godson not here
MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA
soooo happy
hahahahahahahahahahaha
then after that have to attend AGM
took over periya
saw ifaan
happy happy again
gossip abt bossy
hahahahahahhahaha
plus i got my pay today
WHEEEEEEE
so all in all
its been great
maybe having too many bad days makes u appeciate the good ones...

V DUBB

VANNESS GOT A NEW ALBUM!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I CANT BELIEVE I ONLY FOUND OUT NOW
SINCE I HAVE NO TIME TO WATCH ENTERTAINMENT NEWS ANYMORE
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SOOOOO FREAKING HOT CAN
I SOOOOO WANT THE ALBUM
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
THIS IS LIKE THE BEST NEWS I'VE HEARD IN WEEKS!!!!!

SOOOOO HAAAPPPPPPYYYYYYY

我問為什麼　那女孩傳簡訊給我　而你為什麼　不解釋　低著頭沉默
我該相信你很愛我　不願意敷衍我　還是明白你已不想挽回什麼

想問為什麼　我不再是你的快樂　可是為什麼　卻苦笑說我都懂了
自尊常常將人拖著　把愛都走曲折　假裝了解是怕　真相太赤裸裸
狼狽比失去難受

我懷念的是無話不說　我懷念的是一起做夢
我懷念的是爭吵以後　還是想要愛你的衝動
我記得那年生日　也記得那一首歌
記得那片星空　最緊的右手　最暖的胸口
誰記得　誰忘了

我懷念的是無言感動　我懷念的是絕對熾熱
我懷念的是你很激動　求我原諒抱得我都痛
我記得你在背後　我記得我顫抖著
記得感覺洶湧　最美的煙火　最長的相擁

誰愛的太自由　誰過頭太遠了　誰要走我的心　誰忘了那就是承諾
誰自顧自地走　誰忘了看著我　誰讓愛變沉重　誰忘了要給你溫柔

我還有想要愛你的衝動
我記得那年生日　也記得那一首歌
記得那片星空　最緊的右手　最暖的胸口
我放手　我讓座　假灑脫　誰懂我多麼不捨得
太愛了　所以我　沒有哭　沒有說

落淚以前再看一眼你模糊側臉
這會不會是最後紀念

我凝視你而你凝視窗外的陰天
一句抱歉都僵在嘴邊

我搞不懂　我們到底怎麼了
誠實的背後　是否　住著傷口
我想不透　我們的愛怎麼了
雨下過以後　是否　能讓什麼　復活

你的項鍊還在胸前晃動著昨天
為何回憶會讓人暈眩

如果我們繼續向前走進雨裡面
會不會有溶解的危險

我搞不懂　我們到底怎麼了
誠實的背後　是否　住著傷口
我想不透　我們的愛怎麼了
雨下過以後　是否　能讓什麼　復活

明明從前　連爭執都很甜美
現在怎會　說句話　就弄痛一遍

我搞不懂　我們到底怎麼了
誠實的背後　是否　住著傷口
我想不透　我們的愛怎麼了
雨下過以後　是否　能讓什麼　復活

In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
You said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
You said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,

Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah
Where no one knows my name...
Where no one knows my name...
Yeah Boston...
Where no one knows my name.

i feel like a corpse
living dead
my eyes have emptied of seeing
my body emptied of gesture
my heart emptied of feelings
is amazing how some1 so beautiful can be so manipulative
how beauty could transform itself into a spider
spining web after web of lies and deceit
people around me have lied to me
kids that i helped lie to save themselves from their parents
lies that got me into trouble
but none of it come close to yours
u seek my forgiveness when u don even know me
ive met u once
but it seem thats enough to help me understand how scheming u really r
the things we do for love?
u're just as bad as him
u played a part
a huge part
the breakin of so many people's hearts
yet u seek forgiveness
so u can sleep better at night???
y should i allow that
both of u really deserve each other
one's a man whore
the other a beautiful scheming spider...

hmmm

u guys really don understand how impt mayday is to me huh?

the english translation is just weird

so i'm not gonna do it anymore

just gonna be in chinese

really LOVE them

my therapy

tryin to find their 1st 2 albums and the 4th

tried lookin on yahoo

cant find

boooo

really want it...

anyways

lyrics of the day 生命有一种绝对

it means life has a kind of certainty...

oh yeah help me look out for the followin cds yeah...

MAYDAY 1ST ALBUM

MAYDAY VIVA LOVE

MAYDAY TIME MACHINE

MAYDAY LOVE OF MAY

如果我 不曾走过这一遍 生命中 还有多少苦和甜美
那风中的歌声 孤单哽咽的声音是谁
回忆中 那个少年 为何依然不停的追

想要征服的世界 始终都没有改变 那地上 无声蒸发 我的泪
黑暗中期待光线 生命有一种绝对 等待我 请等待我 直到约定融化成笑颜

那生命 灿烂烟火般上演 你和我 最后都要回归地平线
那留下的足迹 浪花冲走 回忆海岸线
靠近我 再拥抱我 请不要让我 的心冷却

等待我 请等待我 靠近我 再拥抱我
不要走 请不要走 直到约定融化成笑颜
直到我看见 生命的绝对

故事開始 在那年的深秋

你眼神很暖和 好像懂我
開始覺得 在天堂就是這樣的

我們 都很快樂
後來才懂

我們只到了天堂 的門口

你說窗外 天長的沒盡頭

多希望一生能 飛得遼闊
當你願望 真正的實現的時候

我們都來不及揮手
故事突然 結束在最深愛的

一秒鐘

下次再愛我 不要錯過我 都別浪費生命 就算一秒鐘
有誰能曉得 我們並沒有 一輩子能 牽手

你想追的

我微笑的點頭

總以為幸福為 我們停留
當時覺得 在天堂就是這樣的

我們 都很快樂
後來才懂

我們只到了天堂 的門口

下次再愛我 不要錯過我 都別浪費生命 就算一秒鐘
有誰能曉得 我們並沒有 一輩子能 牽手

下次再愛我 我會更溫柔 讓你的記憶裡 我是微笑的
我會緊握著 緊握你的手 不讓 你走

我相信幸福其實也不愛飛翔

多麼希望 脫下翅膀
相信愛情的人總有一天會 遇上 不飛走的幸福

不關門的天堂

http://funnyordie.com/v1/view_video.php?viewkey=3efbc24c7d2583be6925
THIS IS FREAKING FUNNY!!!
I WANT MY MONEY BITCH
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

溫柔 (五月天)

走在風中 今天陽光 突然好溫柔
天的溫柔 地的溫柔 像你抱著我
然後發現 你的改變 孤單的今後
如果冷 該怎麼渡過
天邊風光 身邊的我 都不在你眼中
你的眼中 藏著什麼 我從來都不懂
沒有關係 你的世界 就讓你擁有
不打擾是我的溫柔
不知道 不明了 不想要 為什麼 我的心
明明是想靠近 卻孤單到黎明
不知道 不明了 不想要 為什麼 我的心
那愛情的綺麗 總是在孤單里
再把我的最好的愛給你
不知不覺 不情不愿 又到巷子口
我沒有哭 也沒有笑 因為這是夢
沒有預兆 沒有理由 你真的都說過
如果有就讓你自由 自由 這是我的溫柔

Tenderness (Mayday)

Walk in the wind, today's sunlight, a sudden tenderness
The sky's tenderness, the earth's tenderness, like you embracing me
And then to discover you've changed, I'm alone from now on
How would I go on if it gets cold?
The horizon's light, I'm at your side but not even in your eyes
What are your eyes hiding? I have never understood
It doesn't matter, I'll let you have your own world
Not disturbing you is my tenderness
I don't know, don't understand, don't want, why, my heart
Obviously it wants intimacy, yet I'm lonely until dawn
I don't know, don't understand, don't want, why, my heart
That love's beauty is always all alone
I'll give you my best love again
Unwittingly, unwillingly, I'm at the the entrance of this alley again
I haven't cried, yet haven't laughed, because this is a dream
There was no sign, no reason, you've really said it all
If I gave you freedom ~freedom~ that would be my tenderness

what do u do when ure depress?
u shop...
me trying to stay FAR FAR away from that
but STUPID EBAY!!!!
decided to get 2 bottles of body splash
since its cheap 17 sgd in total
after i got it
THEN
dumb me when to calulate the postage
I HAVE TO PAY $25USD
which = to $40 SGD!!!!!!!!
in other words i just spend $57
and the body splash will be
$28.50 PER BOTTLE!!!!!
i think i'll go cry now...

I LOVE MIKA
he's songs are super nice
real cute too
puts me in a good mood...
which means a WHOLE lot at the mo
i'm just goin throu this depress stage right now
i have no confidence in my looks or wat so ever
just really really down
my attempts to make myself happy failed badly
i gain weight
WHICH made it alot worse
as if i don feel shitty enough
kinda regret the hair now
makes my face look round
PLUS the weight gain
i can just cry!!!!
work is stressful
depressing even
tried collecting fees from some parents
WOW i've nvr seen ppl run that fast before...
i mean come on la
some of u pay like 5 bucks a mth
we're a freaking charity org
ur ciggies cost more than a mth's fees can
but STILL they run
give lotsa reasons
pity the kids boi...

anyway i'm still undergoing my mayday music therapy
helping a lil
listening to them makes me feel a lil better
but somehow
this time is not enough
i donno why
is like i need to hear them live maybe
i got their last concert dvd
kinda made me more determined to go
but without anyone to go with
i might as well kill myself...
they got this song
nvr really meant alot till now
is call camouflage
i kinda need that now
but till then
i'm gonna cont jabbin myself with their music

JA I NEED TO SING
KBOX SOON PLEASE

我 忘了珍惜 忘了回忆 摔坏心爱的玩具
我 学着远离 学着放弃 学着在没有回忆

天空的城 在解体
爱过 所以特别 的伤心

最后我开始武装自己 用眼泪 洗过自己
最后我开始武装自己 用强化 软弱的心
最后我开始武装自己 有名字 没有个性
最后我开始武装自己 我活着 用我的逻辑

我 收藏恐惧 爱上恐惧 那就再没有恐惧
谁 要我忍受 给我生命 是谁给了我血液

流出身体 的声音
还你 我不稀罕 的东西

我活着 杀出我命运

I’ve forgotten what’s precious, forgotten memory, broken the toys I once loved so much
I’ve learned to keep my distance, learned how to give up, learned how never again to have memories
The city of heaven is found by separating from the body; I’ve loved before, so I’m especially broken-hearted

At last I start to camouflage myself, using my tears to wash myself
At last I start to camouflage myself, wanting to strengthen my weak heart
At last I start to camouflage myself, I’ll have a name but no personality
At last I start to camouflage myself, I’ll live by my logic

I’ve stored up terror, fell in love with terror, now I’ll never be terrified again
Who wants me to endure, gave me life, who gave me blood
The sound of it bleeding from this body, I’ll return it to you, this thing I don’t cherish

At last I start to camouflage myself, using my tears to wash myself
At last I start to camouflage myself, wanting to strengthen my weak heart
At last I start to camouflage myself, I’ll have a name but no personality
At last I start to camouflage myself, I’ll live by destroying my destiny

I AM SOOO PISSED
WHY AM I SO PISSED
IS ONLY MAYDAY'S CONCERY
AND LEFT WITH $128 TIXS
ITS ONLY MAYDAY

AND I CANT FUCKING GO ANYWAY!!!!!!!

BUT STILL

I
AM
SO
FUCKING
PISSED

ITS A FEELING I CANT ESCAPE

PISSED OFF

SOOOOOO PISSED OFF NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'VE BEEN HINTING HARD ENOUGH

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GO WITH ME TO MAYDAY'S CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!

mimi don seem to understand how mayday changed my life

this song

called 人生海海 People Life, Ocean Wild
weird name
but this change me
hard to believe a song can do that but it did
when i was 15 i faced 1 of my worse memory of my short life
i hated myself
self doubt
really really couldnt live
i was stressed
bruised
then this song came along

this verse
Even if the whole world gives up on meWell at least whether I’m happy or broken-hearted is up to me to decideSo I say, just let it all goI know that after the tide goes out it comes back in again, I can’t forget thatRegardless of where I go tomorrowWell at least whether I’m happy or broken-hearted is up to me to decideSo I say, just let it all go, I know that after the tide goes out it comes back in again, what’s so remarkable about that

i took notice
listen to the rest of their songs
and then
whenever i'm lonely or upset or bored
i listen to them
its like someone's there for me

i feel sooo much better after
so can u imagine wats its like
when i can FINALLY afford to go to their concert
AND NO ONE WOULD GO WITH ME!!!!!
seriously

kill me now......