so much to live for

Been kinda down this few mths

After I came back for my last JB trip I saw a lot of things in a different light

My sis

Is a disappointment

My mom

Cant stop pushing me

They make me feel like trash

As a human I failed

Badly

I cant tell them things anymore

My sis is out to win the best daughter of the yr award

Which means everything I say will be used against me

Like she is a total saint

I just nvr complain to mom

Ppl who knows me best

Will know that there r things I keep to myself

I nvr say them out

See

My family don understand that

They think I'm carefree

In other words

I don give a shit abt any thing

I do

But they keep making me feel totally worthless

Plus

All the things around me

Ppl around me

Am I really that bad?

That ugly

That useless

Yesterday the thot of ending it all came to mind again

I hate all of this

Luckily my triplets were there

Thanks

I know I have to endure

2 more yrs

and I outta here

gone

move away frm all these

I know my worth

And I don need to die just to show all of u that

Today I wrote down the reasons

Why I'm gonna endure and live my life

There's so many places I wanna see

So many countries I've nvr been to

So many things I wanna do

So many feelings I haven felt

Too early to end it all

Mei

U want my place

Take it

I love u too much to fight with u

Go ahead

Win the best daughter award I don give a shit

I don know my the ppl I love the most in my life have to hurt me this way

Sometimes I feel like running away

Now I tell myself

2 more yrs

2 more yrs

and I'm gone

outta here

I'm gonna start a new life

I'm not gonna let u hurt me