~as this year ends~

1 hr before the end of 2004
the beginning of 2005

as i look back this year
i must really say
i lost alot
i gain alot
and i
really grown up the past year

i lost

him
due to my own self really
i was the one who wanted to break up
then breaking my own rule number 1
NEVER BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX
i let my emotions get the better of me
i wanted us to be together again
not really possible
i know
yes we made it clear
between us
not to contact each other any more
but there are days where i really miss him
and cant help but remembering the times we had together

i know the saying that
time will pass us by
and sadness will be forgotten
but there will be times when memories will hit you in the face
and they might not alwasy be the past ones

i also lost friendships
i know i'm not prefect
and might not be the best person to hang out with
my heart have been broken tons of times
by friends mostly
i was back stab so many times i lost count
but i'll remember
and will forgive
hatred is not a good thing to carry along with you at all times

i've gain back some of these freindship
but to truely trust them again
might not be possible
i know they will be angry reading this and all
but do understand

u fool me once, your bad
fool me twice, my bad

i just cant fully trust you ppl anymore k

i also lost friendship
this due to me myself and i
i made mistakes
my hard to control emotions
saying things i don mind
i'm truely sorry
but theres nothing i can do
i've tried
and i've done my best

i gain

new friends
wheeeeeeeeeee
livie, zann, cowell, shah,b, mel,ja
and tons more

i wanna thank all of u for helping me
and being with me this past mths
it's been hard
for me at time
like mel said i'm a emotional kaleidoscope
thank u thank u thank u
for keeping up with my ever changing emotions
hehehehe

gain new found looks
hahahahaha
i look different
no longer nerdy- hair- tied- up-nun
hehehehehehe

2004 for me is also a pretty sad year
the world is changing
if 2003 is the year of human made wars
then 2004 is the year of nature's protest

it just makes me sad
to know that what is happening to the world is actually done by us
humans

"Hell is empty, all the Devils are here." (William Shakespeare)

sad but true

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

not to make my last entry of the year that sad
some happy news

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

vanness's album hehehehe
will be out next year
haha
me going back to the tv to watch more vanness
hehe
bye-o
see u next year
:P